Persiflage

Well here it is... What you all have been waiting for (I guess!).. The first issue of the wacky, the rude, the painful, the honest... Persiflage... But before we go on... I would like to warn everyone reading that this journal is not G-Rated... Which means when I am writing this, I dont look back... So I may end up cursing or saying things that may upset a few people... So again I say, if you cant take the heat, stay away from MY kitchen...

Relations suck dont they? Especially when its not just going right... I had this interesting conversation with my distant relative in Egypt a couple of days ago... Well I'll try to sum it up as much as I can:

Me: Hey man, u sound a bit low...

Him: Yeah, remember that girl I told u about before? The one where we broke up but managed to remain friends?

Me: Hmmm.. yeah....

Him: Well guess what? She told me she found someone (which I dont mind!) but guess who?

Me: Who?

Him: One of my cousins!

Me: WTF???!!!

Him: Yeah... and it even gets more interesting... she sends me this SMS and tells me that the situation has become "Too Awkward" for her and that we cant remain friends, not even online...

Me: Man I think ur the one who should be saying its awkward for YOU!

Him: I know! I mean, I see the guy on a regular basis, we got family gatherings and shitt... Whenever I see him I will remember her... And if they get married, I will feel weird whenever I see her... I think it would have been easier if we just remained friends...

Me: Yeah man, I know what you mean...

Him: The guy is nice and all, but he's just SO immature... he doesnt have any sense of responsibility... He got divorced before AND he never had a steady job...

Me: Well man, birds of a feather as they say.. This only shows you that she didnt deserve you in the first place... It would never had worked out...

Him: Yeah I guess so man...

Me: But you know, there is a funny ironic side to this...

Him: Really? I dont see nothing funny about it...

Me: Well if you ever step up to your cousin after they tie the knot and tell him "Hey man, I screwed around with your wife" you wouldnt be lying!

Him: LoooooooooooooooL

Anyway, relations aside for now... I guess some of you remember my journal about my health and that my body and hormones werent up to par (No I'm not PMSing!) Well anyway, the doctor prescribed Testastrone shots that I should take once a week (or what feminists might call: Jerk shots)... He said that when I start taking these shots I will feel more energetic, I will loose fat faster, my muscles will grow stronger ( For some reason I pictured the Incredible Hulk at that moment) AND I will feel a noticable rise in my sex drive! Yeah thanks doc! For a guy who spends 9 hours a day in an all-male office followed by 3 hours in an all-male gym, I am sure these shots are all that I need to finally get out of the closet and realize my true sexuality!

Anyway in the end, I really got alot of stuff to talk about.. But I am holding back cause I dont wana make this journal too long... So I hope you enjoyed the premeire (did I spell it right?) and I hope to see ya around soon... over and out..!

I'm Rich!!!

Well not that rich... But anyway, yesterday 5 minutes before the stock market closed I bought a big share in one company, even though I had a feeling it may go downhill cause its been rising for the past 4 days...

Today I waited till 10 AM for the market to open, and when it did! Wow! OMG! This company got me over SR. 4,000 in profit (around 1,070 US$) !!

It may not appear as much to the big brokers, but its the biggest amount I made so far in this market. Hope it keeps commin! I can use the cash!

Knock 'em off the scale!

Well its been one week since I started my "Towards better Health" program... and all throughout the week I was resisting the temptation to jump on the scale and see how I am doing...

Well today was the day... I woke up... stepped on the scale... and.... I lost 2.5 Kgs!!! Yeah!!! Its not much but it feels GREAT!

Seems I am moving along on the right path... more gym, more health food... health here I come!

Towards Better Health

Well I was for quite a scare a few weeks ago... All I went to have was a few simple tests to make sure everything was ok (even though down inside I knew I wasn't THAT healthy)...

The basic test was just a sperm count, just to make sure my soldiers were ok (LOL)... But the results weren't that good... Which made the doctor ask for a hormone test... BAM! That wasn't up to par either...

Many tests followed... Thyroid, diabetes, liver functions, blood pressure, the works! And from my results, It's clear I have the health of a 60 year old man trapped in a 28 year old body.. And the cause? I am as lazy as a turtle after a large meal... Junk food, no exercise, not enough sleep, too much coffee, Shisha (water pipe, hubbly bubbly, whatever u Westerners call it)... Damn man!

My doctor scheduled another appointment after 2 months, which during that time he asked me to drastically reduce my weight, eat healthy, cut on salt and spices, plus he prescribed some hypertension pills for me... What if I don't loose weight? Well I wont be able to have kids (and I LOVE kids!), my liver will fail, I will get diabetes, and probably die of a heart attack while lying on my couch knibbling on left over pizza...

Since that day I vowed all this will change... Now I only drink one cup of coffee a day, I stopped eating fast food, made sure I have lots of water, got a good daily intake of fruits and veggies, and stopped that damn Shisha! Plus I went and joined a gym which is just a walking distance from my house...

I know I have to be patient... Ruining my health over the last 10 years wont be fixed in just a week or two... Plus I really have to be strong, and my will as solid as steal...God help me...

See ya on the scale!