As I was cleaning up my hard disk from all the crap I had saved over the past 3 years (yeah I got a 100 GB memory, so?) I stumbled over this document, which I remember a friend sent to me long ago on MSN, its taken from an introduction of a book. But sadly, I couldnt find neither the name of the book or the author, so please forgive me about that. But even with just the introduction, I think the guy finally found the key to understanding which we have suffered for long years to understand... No its not why men always stare at boobs, its how do women think! (though I would like to know the answer to the first question too, lool... But actually there is an indirect answer for that below... so read on...)
Secrets to Success with Women
An e-book by anonymous author
In order to understand women, you must understand that they are bombarded non-stop by the following 3 ideas from the time they hit puberty.
MESSAGE ONE: Your looks are the only thing that really counts.
MESSAGE TWO: Don’t be a “slut”.
MESSAGE THREE: Be “independent”.
The effect of these messages has been to create total sexual CHAOS between men and women. I’ll explain the effect of each message:
MESSAGE ONE:
“YOUR LOOKS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY COUNTS.”
From the time a girl hits puberty, if she is attractive, she has guys hitting on her in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, ALL THE TIME. Guys are kissing up to her, willing to help her with favors, buy her things, etc. And even women want to be around her, since she is so popular.
Think about the effect that has on her. It doesn’t matter if she is totally a rotten personality, if she is HOT, she’ll still get tons of attention from both men and women. Men want them, and women want to be around them.
She becomes very distrustful of guys, and also, she starts to realize how most guys have no self-respect. Most guys are dumb and will tolerate the bad personality just to be with her. Attractive women tend to get SPOILED because they are given everything by people without having to earn it or work for it. They can get AWAY with having a rotten personality.
Unlike men, they don’t have to develop the rest of their personality in order to get respect, attention, affection, etc.
It leads to attractive women having a self-perception that they are superior to most people, as long as they have the looks. So they can treat most people as if those people were inferior. Especially men who ass-kiss, who come across as needy and uncool, and believe it or not, also come across as manipulative. (You see, womanizers don’t come across as manipulative, since they hide their agenda better. Nice guys are obvious- “Hey I like you, do you like me?”)
This is why being a “nice guy” is disastrous. Most attractive women simply do not appreciate “nice-ness” since WOMEN think that if you would be as superior as they are, you would then not be nice.
To them, nice is for people who are inferior. After all, THEY don’t have to be nice- and look how everyone kisses up to them and respects them.
Get it?
Attractive women just assume nice = loser.
THIS BRINGS US TO LESSON #1:
Since being “nice” (i.e. telling her she is beautiful, buying her things, always being there when she asks, etc.) simply makes her feel you are inferior to her and that you need her, and this just confirms that she is superior and that it is therefore okay to ABUSE you….
YOU MUST THEREFORE LEARN TO CREATE AN AURA OF SUPERIORITY AROUND WOMEN.
How do you do that?
Simple.
SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF SUPERIORITY THAT WOMEN SPEAK.
In other words, be just as arrogant, cocky, confident, hard-to-get, indifferent, cool, and challenging as possible. That’s a lot packed into one sentence (And expanded on in my material.)
But for example, if you see a woman you’d like to speak to, don’t make it so damn obvious you’re interested. If there’s something about her that she is doing, or wearing, etc, that’s begging to be poked fun at, DO IT. Don’t act as if you need her approval or her desire.
And don’t lean all into her as she speaks as if her every word is DIVINE. Get DISTRACTED in middle of the conversation by another girl, or by something else.
LESSON # 2
The fact that attractive women are so stuck up as a result of their looks creates a FLIP-SIDE to the equation…
These attractive women are very INSECURE about LOSING their looks, for if they were to lose their looks, they would lose all that POWER. Scary thought for them. So guess what happens when you make a woman second guess whether her looks are all that great?
Like for example, if you pointed out a flaw? Yeah, a FLAW. Anything from head to toe.
Yeah, she’d be DEVASTATED, that’s what. So devastated, in fact, that she might HATE you. So I recommend being very TACTFUL about this, or she will feel so bad that she will feel UNWORTHY of you. Don’t try to cut her down TOO HARD.
But in general, just not kissing up to a woman who is used to getting her butt kissed is enough to communicate that you are just like HER: SUPERIOR, and thus worthy of her.
You see, the whole problem started because of GUYS. Men should NEVER have given women the impression that looks were all that counted, because it’s not even TRUE.
No guy on earth wants to actually STAY with a woman with a rotten personality. He might just want to have sex and dump her, but that’s it. But most women actually think that guys will want them long term too, just as long as the woman is attractive. But that is inherently false.
And to be honest, once you learn how to attract women, you tend to become more picky even just for sex- you don’t just want looks, you want a fun girl who’s also not a complaining, unstable, headcase.
Okay, on to the effect of:
MESSAGE NUMBER TWO
“DON’T BE A SLUT”.
Oh man, this one really has caused a lot of damage. On one hand, women keep getting approached by men who want to have sex with them, and on the other hand men keep telling them not to be sluts. Can you imagine what it must be like to have to live in such a crazy contradiction?
What is a slut anyway? A girl who likes sex? Does that make men sluts too?
I think that the concept of “sluts” in WOMEN’S minds is basically that men want to control women. Of course, the effect of this whole slut label
has created the OPPOSITE EFFECT: REPRESSION ONLY SERVES TO MAKE SOMETHING DESIRABLE. PLUS, IT CAUSES ACTIVITY TO BECOME COVERT.
By men trying to REPRESS WOMEN, women feel that they are missing out on something, even if it’s actually nothing. Reminds me of this Weird Al video where these religious guys are eagerly checking out their version of a Playboy “centerfold” who’s actually clothed from head to toe, but her ankles are showing.
So a little respectful bow now, to our friend Dr. Freud…
As far as I’m concerned, if we just removed the whole “taboo” label of being a slut, women would be a lot more relaxed around men and actually there would be less motivation to be a “slut”, whatever slut means. The best way to make something sexually desirable is to make it taboo. I bet you if I could make a new fad that looking at a woman’s ankles was TABOO, every guy would want to get a look at women’s ankles all of a sudden.
Or if women looking at men’s earlobes was TABOO, then every man would cover up his earlobes and if he caught his woman looking at another man’s earlobes, she would be labeled a “slut”. So the effect of the whole “slut” label has been that women feel the need to REBEL against men, who women conveniently group all together as one, to compensate for all this sexual guilt trip by society. (women translating society as being male-dominated)
Of course, the rebelling occurs COVERTLY. If you are the kind of guy who has no clue to the reality of what women want, women will TELL YOU one thing, and then do whatever they really want to do in secret. Such is the effect of repression. Plus, women know that the nice guys will STOP all ass-kissing and all favors if the nice guys wake up to reality and how they are getting taken advantage of. So it’s currently in women’s best interests to keep things covert.
LESSON #3
So, what you as a man must do is help women NOT feel guilty about sex. You must keep their mind OFF of the actual idea of you having sex with them when you are talking to them, because otherwise they will start to feel guilty. So just keep things light and fun. You might even be able to make sexual JOKES, just not direct sex.
And show that you can LEAD, by arranging the next meeting or date or whatever. She feels to guilty to be the one to lead. And, when in bed, if you can help her feel GREAT about being sexual, you won’t have to worry much about her being unfaithful, since she’ll get to enjoy her sexual nature with you and have a psychologically healthy outlet for it.
In other words, you better have no hang ups about sex, because if you do, you can imagine how impossible it will be for HER to feel comfortable having sex with you. Be an example.
MESSAGE 3
“Be Independent”
I’ve saved the best for last. This “girl power” and “independence” idea has warped into something much more problematic: It has come to mean, for a lot of women, that if she ever has to make a choice between commitment to her man or commitment to ANYTHING ELSE, that she should choose ANYTHING ELSE. Because, after all, the logic goes, a woman must be “independent”. So if it ever comes down to it, a woman’s girlfriends, for example, will win out over a guy any day, in terms of priorities.
This “independence” idea is also used by womanizers to get women to cheat on their boyfriend. They just frame “cheating” as something the boyfriend would NOT want, and now the woman will do it just out of rebelliousness and to confirm her “independence”. This “independence” idea is also used by a woman’s girlfriends who are having problems with their own relationships- the friend will demand ridiculous amounts of time and energy from the girl who IS in a happy relationship, even though she knows this will cause damage to her best friend’s relationship. Sometimes this is intentional, out of jealousy, but of course the PRETEXT is “independence”.
Independent is the excuse for cheating, the excuse for not giving as much as she gets. Another effect of “independence” is the general malaise regarding any type of genuine female commitment to a relationship until a woman’s LOOKS begins to fade.
Suddenly, then, women no longer want independence as much and are instead looking for a “stable, secure relationship”. It’s hard to want independence when no one wants to be with you. It’s only fun when everyone wants to be with you.
LESSON #4
As a result of this phenomenon, it’s crucial to absolutely NEVER be the one to INITIATE a “serious” relationship with a woman. If she wants one with YOU, then it must be ONE TRILLION PERCENT CLEAR TO HER THAT SHE WANTS IT. Let HER make it clear to YOU that she wants it. So, just enjoy going out and meeting TONS of women, enjoy them if you like, and date many women at the same time. If some of them want to get serious with you, and if that is something you might be interested in, put them to the test and see how badly they really want a meaningful relationship, or is it just some way to get you under CONTROL so that they can have YOU faithful while they continue to be “independent”.
That way, women will see that YOU are “independent” as well, which not only makes you clearly in a position of choice, and therefore increases your apparent sexiness, but will also make the women think: If everyone is supposed to be so independent, and if everyone is supposed to need so much space, then how the hell does anyone ever get into a relationship?
Trust me, you’ll be a rare guy indeed who is not so ready to give all his affection and emotion for her. She’ll appreciate you more.
